Now I’ll be the first to admit that sitting still is hard.
Take for example, watching TV.
Sounds easy enough right?
Just grab your favorite snack, settle in and relax. Easy
right?
I can’t do it.
Two things immediately happen when my family wants to watch
a show together.
1)
My mind goes into hyper drive thinking of all
the things that need to be done or I could be doing.
2)
I get
bored just sitting on the couch veggie out.
So what’s a girl to do when God whispers the word, abide?
Panic of course! And fuss.
Now when I first started hearing His voice nudge me towards
abiding, my first thought was “Well duh,
that makes sense, the past 3 weeks haven’t left me with a single second for my
quiet time.” It was time I got back to my daily time with the Lord.
But the word abide. To
my understanding meant to saddle up, get close to, that sort of thing. So
imagine my surprise when I did a little more research this morning and learned
that abide means to sit, dwell in Him, remain, be quiet, still and rest.
Seriously Lord? You
want me to rest and be quiet? You know me right? Me? Your girl, Amy? Remember,
I’m the girl who can’t even sit still for a 30 minute TV show and You want me
to rest and be still? AND…be quiet?! Oh my heavens! Giving up coffee would be
easier!
And yet, is there really any arguing going on here? Yes, I’m
the one throwing the mental temper tantrum and no God isn’t budging, which is
why I’m panicking.
Now I will admit that for the briefest of moments the
thought of rest, true rest sounded wonderful. Just to step away from my chaotic
life and have one of those Calgon-take-me-away moments sounded heavenly… but
only for a second.
Then reality smacked me in the forehead and I thought, “Who
am I kidding? You know who you are. You’d be pulling your hair out in less than
a half hour.”
You see, my life has always been about performance. I was
taught at a very early age that rest was unacceptable. Rest was for those who
were lazy or without a goal, a mission in life. So if you weren’t sleeping you
better be dead because there’s always something to be done.
And so here I am and the good Lord above is asking me to
abide, to rest, in Him.
Hmmm…resting in
Him.
Ok...this scares me to death.
Not sure what I’m gonna do
with those directions because I’m not even sure I know what rest looks like.
How does one actually rest without sleeping? What in the world does that equate
to?
As you can see I’m in for a world of hurt on this one. J
All teasing aside, the truth is, no matter how I feel about
abiding and that I'm not even sure I fully understand how to abide, the one thing I do know is that God has it all under control and that's where I can rest. In that knowledge alone.
If I’m going to learn anything in this time of abiding, I
need to settle in and do what He’s asking me to do, even if it means
confessing, “Lord you have got to get me where you want me to be because I
haven’t a clue.”
It’s ok to admit that I don’t have everything under control,
that I don’t have any answers and I am going into this situation completely
blind, scared and clueless.
But at the same time, this is where trust, faith and obedience comes in.
Yes He’s asking me to abide in Him. To
res in Him. Yes it goes against my very nature. I hate sitting still. But...He is God. I love Him and I want to serve Him to the best of my ability and that means listening and obeying.
This I know, God is good.
This is where I will begin. Focusing on His goodness.
Not on my fear. Not on my inability to sit still. Not on my
tasks or need to be performance driven.
Because of His goodness and His love for me, I am called to rest.
Abide.
Be still.
And so I will.
Dear friend,
If the good Lord is asking you to do something that takes you out of your comfort zone I pray that you will spend time seeking Him and His direction for your life and together we will see all that He has planned for our lives.
I am praying God will meet you right where you’re at today.
Until next time,
Blessings and best wishes,
