The Will of God

This past Sunday as I listened to our pastor talk, he briefly mentioned "the will of God."


Now I've heard those words before but up until that moment I'd not given them much thought.  But as the good Lord would have it, "the will of God" caught my attention and prompted me to do a little research.


I referenced those words on the net and found a list of at least 20 different bible verses that included, "the will of God."


Now when God prompts me to dig a little deeper into His word, I take it seriously and figure He's brought this to my attention for a reason. This time was no different.


For the past few weeks I've been at a crossroads with a few challenges which have left me feeling frustrated, burned out and spiritually depleted.


So when the Spirit prompted me to do this research, little did I know just how much I needed to know, (mind, body and soul) the will of God. As I copied the bible references and began to locate them in the Word, I jotted every verse down into my journal. Now with the first few bible verses I silently agreed, "Yes Lord, I see what You're saying here. Good to know." It was almost as if I was saying to myself, "Yep, see, you knew that, but you'd forgotten it." 

But then I came across this gem: 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Now this struck me right between the eyes. Immediately my confusion led to fussin' with God. "Seriously Lord? Right now? You want me, after the last month I've had to be joyous? You're kidding right? And you want me to give thanks? Are you kidding Lord? Remember yesterday? Remember the chat we had on my drive home from work? Ya know that one, with all the tears?

Trust me when I tell you that I fussed something fierce. Now if you're not familiar with fussin', let's just say it's like belly-achin', not really whining or complaining so much as it's more like sharing my point in a grumbling sort of way. 

At any rate, once I stopped the fussin' and refocused on the fact that He led me to this passage at this time despite everything that was upsetting me, I really stopped a moment. It says: Be joyous.

Now how am I to be joyous when most days I'm in survival mode and can't think straight?

I can't. And I told that to God. In fact, I fussed a little more with Him about the fact that His will was something I was struggling with simply because I couldn't. I'm that burned out. I have nothing left emotionally or spiritually to give,  so how could I possibly have the energy to be joyous?  "Sorry Lord, I can't be joyous so You're gonna have to do it for me."

In that second I knew I needed the good Lord's help in everyway. I needed His joy, His efforts, His help and His guidance because I had nothing left to give. If I was going to be anything, it was going to have to be all up to Him.

The only thing I had left in me was the ability to pray so I kept pouring out all of my concerns, my worries and hopes and my disappointments and then added these words, "Lord I need You to help me be joyous today. I need You Lord to help me to give thanks. Help me to find the good in some very difficult situations right now. Lord I'm tapped. I need Your joy today. I need Your help in seeing life differently, the way You would have me see it. And Lord, yes, I thank You for these challenges, because despite the fact that there are some life challenges at the moment, those challenges are pointing me back to You. So thank You Lord."

When I got back into my car later that day to head home it dawned on me that God had in fact, answered my prayers. I was in a much better mood than the one I started with, and I had felt His hand on my life the entire day. Yes it started out bumpy. Yes I felt frazzled and worn down to the point of exhaustion but God saw me through the entire day and by the time I clocked out, I felt good and I knew it was because of His love and strength. And as I made my way back home I recounted all that had transpired that day and I realized joy had been a part of my day in small, tangible ways that refreshed my soul.

God is so good. I am ever so thankful He hears our prayers. And He loves us so very much.

If you're having a tough day, week, month or whatever,  I want to take a moment and encourage you to turn it over to God. He loves you so very much and is waiting for you. And if you need a little extra help, please know that I've already prayed for you too!

Until next time,
Blessings & Best Wishes

Unplugging from Isolation

If you watched me while I worked, spent time with my family or the ladies in my bible study group you would swear I was an extrovert.

Not so.

I’m a die-hard introvert. Or maybe I’m a chameleon. Either way, I’m not as outgoing or as open as I may present myself. Now it’s not that I’m lying to the world, it’s just that what you see is only a small part of who I am.

I’m a guarded person. There’s been way too much heartache in my life for me to fee comfortable truly letting my guard down and letting others really get to know me.

But God’s not done with me yet.

In fact, as I started thinking and praying about what direction and focus God would have me concentrate on this year; I was somewhat surprised when He didn’t actually give me a single word like He had in the past, like faith and joy. This time He gave me “relational living.”

(Sigh) Seriously Lord, I thought. What exactly am I not doing that You want me to focus on relational living?

Honestly I had no clue until a couple of weeks later while I was sitting in service and the pastor mentioned the words, “unplugging from isolation" did I even consider the correlation between relational living (purposefully reaching out to those God places in our lives versus hiding away from relationships in order to self-protect).

Now we all know that our world or at least part of it, lives, breathes, eats, sleeps and thinks technology in one way shape or another. And there’ve been plenty of studies that have shown that the more our society connects electronically the more we disengage from one another.

So at first I thought, “Not me Lord, you know I barely watch tv, my phone has more gadgets unused than used on it and frankly if I didn’t live with 3 techie’s in my life to fix the computer hiccups, I’d throw the stinker in the trash and move on.”

However, that’s not quite what He meant…

Instead God, as I have started figuring out, wanted to point out that I was isolating myself from others on purpose. Ouch!

Not me Lord...really?

My past is filled with deep heartaches and betrayals that began at an early age so I learned to protect myself by keeping a smile on my face, going through the motions and never really allowing myself to engage in any sort of real relationships, with the exception of my husband and children. Everyone else is kept at bay.

So to have God push me out of my comfort zone and try to connect with those He’s placed in my life, yep, this one’s gonna be a doozy and frankly I’m not so sure about any of this.

But here’s what ’m learning. When I’m obedient to what God is calling me to do, He is with me (and you) every step of the way, and we are never alone.

When I started thinking about my walk with Christ and how, if I am going to go deeper and not just have a surface relationship, and really allow God to work in and through my life, then, my first step is obedience.

But what does that look like? How do I unplug from isolation?

First I prayed about it and asked God to show me a way to step out in faith to do what He was asking.

The first thing He had me do was take something I love to do: cooking – and serve the ladies in my bible study.

Now this may seem pretty easy and the cooking part was. But what was hard was stepping out, offering something about myself (my cooking abilities) share it with the ladies in the group.

Now for someone like me that’s HUGE! I tend to skirt into class, take the bible study, offer a little small talk and then bolt once the video is over.

Not so now. For the past few weeks, I’ve brought something to share to my group. And God bless these sweet ladies, they’ve been gracious and wonderful.

I don’t like the attention. It scares me to death. Especially when someone lengthens the conversation beyond a “Thanks for bringing this, I skipped dinner to get the kids to church on time.”

But I’m doing it anyway. Shaking in my boots, scared someone will actually talk to me or rather, want to talk to me, but I’m doing it anyway.

Why?

God asked me to. And I love Him. And I want to grow and be changed by His love. Not only for myself but so that others in my life, however few they may be at the moment :) will also be touched by His love. So while this is hard and most times I want to run and hide I have a feeling that’s not gonna happen. I'm gonna keep stepping out in faith, one tiny step at a time and allow Him to change me.

There's a saying that goes something like this: You can’t serve two masters. Do I love and serve God even though unplugging from isolation is hard and very uncomfortable or do I serve myself and my protective nature and go back home having never reached out to try and make new friends and to grow beyond the pain?

I can’t do both...

I choose God. I choose to trust Him, knowing in advance He loves me more than to leave me where I am.

And I’m thankful.

What about you? Is God calling you to unplug from isolation? Are you hiding from a hurt or a pain that you don’t want to face? I’m right there with you!  But more importantly, God is with us. He will strengthen, lead and guide us through every difficult, challenging growth opportunity if we only turn to Him and ask Him to lead the way.

I’m game…are you?  

I'll be praying for you every step of the way.

Until next time,

Blessings & best wishes,

The dreaded "O"

Obedience.

Even as I begin typing this post my heart cringes.

Why?

I don't want to be convicted. I don't want to be reminded of my selfish, self-absorbed ways. I'd rather not go there.

And yet...

That's where I'm going.

I need to. If I'm honest with myself, which means I have to slow down enough to actually take a peek inside this heart of mine, I'll see areas that well, aren't so pretty. In fact, they're downright ugly.

There's work to be done on this soul. So much that needs a good swift kick in the seat of the pants, sweep it off the porch, clean out the attic and dust the cobwebs outta my life sort of cleaning. Oh! And while we're at it, bleach my be good at this point.

On the outside I tend to go through the daily motions. Everything looks clean and tidy. But on the inside that's a whole different dirty, messed up area. One that needs the hand of grace to wipe it clean.

Thankfully God is good at cleaning up messes, giving fresh starts and new beginnings.

But once His hand touches my life, what then?

I'm on the right track, everything is back on the straight and narrow and then in walks Old Mrs. Bad Habits and the ugly cycle starts up again. I fall back into the trap of wanting my own way, doing things my way, calling the shots in my life without ever taking one second to find out, “Hey Lord, what do you want from my life?”

I'm convinced that the reason I don't take the time to talk to God about His goals and plans for my life is simple. It takes obedience on my part.

Ya know, that good old follow thru behavior. Setting aside my wants and actually seeking out God, having a heart to heart with Him and really listening and... oooh, here it comes...that “O” word, obeying.

Now here's something you don't know about me. This writing gig, I love it. I love to write. I've got journals left and right stacked in piles where I've filled them with all my hopes, dreams, frustrations and worries. My prayers, my tears, of joy and of sorrow, all captured on paper.

But...

That's not what God's been asking me to do.

He's the One asking me to step out in faith, follow His direction and put my heart out there in cyber world.

Gulp!

For years...yes, years, I've made every excuse under the sun and known to man about why I shouldn't.

And the bottom line is, I was, and am afraid. Scared to death.

Writing privately in a journal, I can guarantee no one ever sees it. But writing, posting everything online that's a completely different story.

So I dragged my feet. Whined about it endlessly and gave some rather good arguments about why I was NOT His girl to do this.

“I'm not educated. I barely have any working knowledge of a computer. I don't really have much to say.”

The excuses were endless.

And yet God never stopped calling me to write and share.

Obedience is hard especially for a stubborn, fearful person like myself.

I wish I could say blogging is easy for me. It's not. I feel like when it comes to blogging I'm standing at the foot of Mt. Kilimanjaro wearing flip flops and shorts and God's asking me to climb that mountain.

But obedience, especially when it comes to God isn't about what we think we need or our skills or the end result, it really is a matter of trust.

Putting our faith on the line, stepping up to the plate, swallowing our pride, pushing aside all the negatives and grabbing hold of His hand and saying, “Ok God, I'm your girl, let's go!”

So that's where I'm at. My knees are shaking. I'm a bundle of whacked out nerves and I'm on the verge of tears. I haven't a clue why the good Lord is asking me to do this. But He is.

And just because He is asking me, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that our God is good, I'm holding onto His hand and stepping out in faith.

One step at a time.

One post.

One small act of obedience that will change my life and my walk with Him forever.

Blessings and best wishes,

The Promised Land

When I started the Jonah bible study it struck me at how tied to his homeland Jonah was. Jonah saw Israel as his very own promised land. Israel, the promised land. A gift from God.

Israel was his comfort zone, a place of promise, hope, love and fulfillment. A security blanket if you will, away from the outlying countries and belief systems.

That is until God called upon Jonah to leave his beloved country and seek out a city known for its cruelty and pagan gods and who was a sworn enemy, Ninevah.

Leave? Go into enemy territory and share God's word to those who certainly took great joy in destroying the lives and well-being of those around them. And God wanted Jonah to share His convicting words.

Now I'm not sure about you but I'm thinking that would've been near on impossible for me to comprehend. God, the almighty God, wanting Jonah to go and preach His word to a people so remarkably cruel their entire reputation breathed fear into everyone who heard of the city.

That had to be hard. Impossible to comprehend. And yet... God asked for Jonah's obedience in a situation that didn't make an ounce of sense to Jonah.

Have you ever been there? Been in a situation like Jonah?

I'm in one right now. And I'm not liking it anymore than Jonah did.

Now I'm not hopping a ship and sailing 2,000 miles in the opposite direction but unfortunately, if I'm being completely honest, I am in tiny little ways, not being obedient. I'm digging my heels in and basically saying, “Sorry Lord, I don't want to go.”

Gulp!

I hate to admit I'm convicted of my guilt.

You see, a decade earlier God blessed us with answers to prayers when after a lengthy time of unemployment, we moved from the northwest to a city closer to my family here in the south.

When I say I did the happy dance the moment we crossed the state line, it's an understatement. Literally I felt like a 1,000 pounds were released the moment I knew we were actually gone and in my mind, not ever coming back.

It didn't take long for us to settle into our new environment. We were thousands of miles away from heartache and hurt we were living on a continual basis when we lived up north. Peace settled into our lives and for the first time in years we felt we were able to really relax and breathe.

What an answer to prayer! God had given us the peace from painful family dynamics through distance. When we lived north, every part of our lives were some how intertwined in heartache, drama and stress.

Fast forward a decade later and we are now facing a return move back north. Our promised land has run its course and God is asking us to move back to the land of turmoil.

And as my daddy says, “This is where the rubber meets the road.” The time has come to face old demons, walk in faith and trust God.

Gulp!

Easier said than done at times. When I'm busy prepping the house for sale or I'm so busy at work I can't think about it, I'm okay. But in the still quiet early morning hours of my prayer time, fear washes over me like a tsunami and I can hardly breathe.

Distance was my friend. Through distance I was able to heal with God's help. I was able to take my weary, battle worn soul and allow it the opportunity to mend.

But now, God's asking me to walk in obedience and head back to my own personal Ninevah.

Lord I thought this was over. You enabled our family time to heal and separate ourselves from the heartache we felt all those years ago when living north but now, we are being called to Arise and Go!

Go north!

I'd be lying if I said I was confident this would go well. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared to death.

Bah! I'm shaking in my boots. Facing my own Ninevah and leaving the promised land of security and safety is overwhelming. I know deep down I don't have the strength to do this on my own. In fact, I know whole-heartedly that leaving my promised land and heading into enemy territory will be something that God will have to carry me through from beginning to end. I know there's not a single thing I can do in this situation that will lend itself to a positive outcome. I'm human. I stumble and fall. Those old painful bones I buried years ago, surface at times and they still hurt. My first instinct is to run, just like Jonah did. My second instinct is to argue with God and ask, “why?”

Why take us from our home that is peaceful and happy? Why take us back to a place that I don't want to go and have me face those who have wounded me deeply?

I don't know.

God does.

And yet, it's still hard. This is our home now. We have friends, family and a life here. It is peaceful and filled with great memories. Not so the case up north. Up north, memories are painful and ugly. They encroach on my need to live a peaceful life.

But complacency is not where God wants me to be. He wants me to be in His will. And being in God's will takes obedience and a yielding of my will to His.

Not easy. In fact, it is painfully difficult. I don't want to do it. But I will. I know I will. Because ultimately, my walk with Christ is more important than my feelings.

So even though my emotions tell me to run, my heart and soul, which lie with Christ, reassure me that God has me in the palm of His hand.

I am not alone. God is with me every step of the way. Just like He was with Jonah.

Trust and obedience sometimes are difficult. Especially when hurt is involved. But God loves us enough to never leave us where we're at. He wants to heal our hearts, mend broken fences and draw us closer to Him. And sometimes that road isn't easy. Sometimes it means leaving our Promised Land and heading right back to Ninevah with Him.