As you can see I've been a bit out of pocket lately and here's why, there's been a little bit of this...
And a whole lotta this going on...
And let me tell ya I'm not liking it one bit.
You see I'm a creature of habit. I like to dig my feet in and stay a while...a long while if I can help it but in the past few months God has made it abundantly clear through a series of situations that it's time.Time to pack it up and move.
There are lots of emotions when a move is involved, sometimes there's excitement, anxiety, fear, joy, sadness, doubt and worry. For me this move boils down to one emotion - fear.
I don't want to do this move, I don't want to uproot, I don't want to start over. But, as God has shown me over and over, this move is not about what I want it is clearly what He wants. And if I'm really going to be obedient, step out in faith, this is my next step.
This all started about 7 months ago when our youngest son was accepted to play hockey on a northern team. Our family started talking about possibly moving back then but, one road block after another reared its ugly head and we put those thoughts to rest.
That is until I took the Gideon study by Priscilla Shirer. Man-oh-man did God even thump me over the head with that one! Week after week, the Holy Spirit kept prompting me to dig a little deeper to really see what God wanted me to do. The more I prayed the more He would lead me to another set of questions and answers until finally He made it clear, it was time to go.
Now I'd be lying if I said, I jumped right on board and agreed wholeheartedly with God's nudge to pack it up and go.
Not a chance!
Now don't get me wrong, I knew eventually we would leave here, after all, my husband and I wanted to downsize and do a little traveling, but that was a few years down the road after the boys left home. Who knew those years would become months and we'd be faced with making the tough decision to sell and follow God's prompting or to hold onto the here and now and make the most of it.
God soon squashed that last option. He was not leaving it up to us. We would move. Period. And if we ever thought of doubting God's hand in this move, He soon made it clear. Son #1 began making plans to move up north to finish college and shortly after he did, son#2 accepted a tender letter for hockey, where else? Up north, right along side of his brother.
Hmph!
Which left us with no other choice but to do as we were being led.
Not easy I tell ya.
In fact I wanted to throw a 2 year old's temper tantrum!
Now it's one thing to try to come to terms with a big move, and one you may not want to make (which is me) but try then to explain it to your friends and family. Not easy. It's not easy to tell those around you that you're moving but don't want to move.
Boy-oh-boy does that ever open a can of worms!
Telling my parents was probably the worst of all, especially for my mom. You see my dad's in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and it's rapidly progressing. This move would in effect leave her without any of her children to help take care of dad.
And yet, God is calling our family north. It's hard to make sense of that one. We lived there 10 years ago, before He moved us here. So why is He moving us back when it would seem to have been much easier and much more cost effective to have left us right where we were?
I haven't a clue. Not a single one.
But God is bigger than my understanding so this is where my faith comes in.
As He reminds me in His words in Isaiah 55:8, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord."
Ok Lord, I admit, I just don't get it.
And at this time, I don't think I'm supposed to get it. I'm simply supposed to be obedient and He will take care of the rest.
And so I've been busy, painting, packing and staging. All in preparation to list our home for sale.
God is in control. And each time I doubt, each time tears well up and threaten to spill, each time I start shaking in my boots from the overwhelming feelings of, "Lord, what in the world are You thinking?" I ask God to show me who He is and to calm my fears.
He does. And I am calm once again.
And although I certainly can not make heads or tails of this crazy situation, I know God is in control and He will get me through it all, even when it doesn't make sense!
That's the thing about God. He is good. He loves us. And He will never, ever leave us.
Today, I hope you find that to be true about God. I hope that you will spend time with Him in His word but also just sharing your fears, worries, joys and concerns. He is with you, always. And He loves you oh-so-much!
Until next time when I am certain more boxes will be packed :) may God bless you and keep you in His loving embrace!
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