Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Back in the swing of things

Wow! It's been 5 months since my last posting.

5 busy, crazy, emotional months and what awaits me now is the unknown.

Can't say I'm too keen on the unknown. As I've shared before, change is not something I embrace easily so this huge change that's happened in our lives threatens to overwhelm me at times and at others I'm so in awe of what has happened it's hard to wrap my brain around all of it.

Has that ever happened to you? A situation, a circumstance that takes your breath away and leaves you completely dumbfounded?

It's not easy to process is it?

So what do you do when life happens pulls the rug out from under you?

I tend to shut down emotionally. Sort of like a turtle pulling into its shell. Occasionally I peek my head out and see if the waves are still crashing or if it's okay for me to stick my head out and really take a look around.

We've been here in the Northwest a few weeks and I'm doing my best to set up house, create a routine and navigate our new home town.  Each day has brought its challenges from finding the basics like grocery stores and post offices to trying to figure out just why exactly it takes going to 5 different stores to locate something as simple as a broom.   yes, it really took me going to 5 different stores...who knew?!

The biggest change has been my relationship with God. While we were in the throes of staging, selling, packing and moving the emotional side of this move really put a big gap between me and God. I simply could not process all of the emotions plus the sheer stress from getting everything done so quickly while shipping our sons off early to Washington, my husband constantly gone for business trips, our beloved family dog dying. It was really almost more than I could process so I shut down.

Most days it was a real struggle to say, "Thank you Lord" and mean it. If I were honest, I'd tell you, that when I did spend time with God I cried.  This move was heartbreaking for me and I had a hard time wanting to connect with God, the pain was that deep. 

Inside I knew God loved me and wouldn't be angry because I was struggling. I knew He was there although I wasn't. I knew He'd keep every promise He ever made. God's promises are what kept me going. The ones that prompted me continually to NOT be afraid, He would be there fighting my battles for me. To rest in knowing He was always there and that there wasn't anyone or anything (including a cross country move or my lack of ability to connect with Him at that moment) that could separate me from Him and vice versa.

And you know, it was enough for me to know that I could rest in Him. So much was already being asked of me, and all God kept asking me to do was to rest in Him.

He promised through His word to carry me through this one. And He did.  He was there. He met me when all I could was cry as I packed up the home where I'd raised my babies. He was there as I said good-bye to my friends at work , my neighbors and my parents. Yes, He was there.

And now, today, He is here helping me set up our new home, find that broom and to find my way back to Him.

My heart is forever grateful for His promises!

Blessings and best wishes to you my friends,

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