I got up this morning in a sour mood. Several family conflicts
were weighing me down and I couldn’t shake the huge gray emotional cloud hanging
over my head just waiting to dump a dam full of rain on me.
I tried pulling scripture to mind in order to gain control of
my emotions and thoughts but I drew a blank. There was one verse in particular
that I wanted to call to mind but all I could do is pray, “Ok Lord, I need your words and I think it has something about thinking
good things. Can You help me out?”
Nothing.It was as if someone was taking an eraser to my
brain.
My chalkboard-brain was blank.
Until something my husband (the Hubs) said to me during breakfast which made me
realize the way I was thinking about things was simply, stinkin’ thinkin’.
Which, if you’ve never heard the phrase means, thinking about everything in
a negative light. The old half empty versus half full.
He was right, absolutely right. My stinkin’ thinkin’, born out
of bad habits set forth in childhood and carried through into my adulthood were
casting an ugly cloud of negativity on my entire day.
The Hubs suggested I flip the way I saw things and remember
this particular situation that I was fretting over was indeed an answer to prayer.
Again he was right.
Less than a week prior I had been praying over this particular
family situation and now, today, what was happening was the answer I’d been
praying for.
So why did I take it negatively? Training in part I guess. But
the more I asked myself why I had such stinkin’ thinkin’ it soon dawned on me
that it was because the resolution hadn’t included me at all. Only God and
those that I’d prayed over.
Blam! The realization hit me square between the eyes.
Had I really been praying for my benefit under the mask of
praying for my loved ones?
To some degree, yes.
I wanted to be included. I wanted a part of it. I, I, I…notice the pattern? Yeah, me too. Not
good.
Thankfully God saw it all, knew my struggle and stepped in and
through the love of my husband was able to open my eyes to the real reason I
was out of sorts.
I was ashamed. Instead of being thankful for a prayer being
answered I was upset because God hadn’t included me in the resolution. Not a
pretty truth.
Ya know folks, it’s hard to learn the tough stuff about ourselves.
And yet, it’s in those moments when God clears the air and opens our hearts do
we have the greatest opportunity to thank Him for the lessons He's trying to teach us while learning about His grace
and love for us.
Once I stepped back, saw my error and took another look, I was
able to really enjoy the blessing of an answered prayer. To know that God heard
my prayers, answered them in a way which brought Him glory and would hopefully one day draw us all
closer to Him, yeah, that’s what it’s all about.
I'm grateful for hard lessons and memory lapses, they teach
me to rely on the good Lord every step of the way. And I’m thankful for the
Hubs who isn’t afraid to be honest. It’s what I need.
As for the scripture I was trying to remember, God gave it to
me in the most ironic way.
So this evening as I sat down to write, I flipped open to a
dog-eared page in Liz Curtis Higgs’ book, It’s
Good To Be Queen, hoping for a bit of inspiration. And right there on page
90 were the words I’d been racking my brain to remember:
“Finally
brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV
Oh how good God is! He is in the tiniest of details of our
lives, leading us every step of the way back to Himself.
God loves you.
Until next time,
Blessings & best wishes,
