Monday, November 23, 2015

Lord, You've got this

I got up this morning in a sour mood. Several family conflicts were weighing me down and I couldn’t shake the huge gray emotional cloud hanging over my head just waiting to dump a dam full of rain on me.  

I tried pulling scripture to mind in order to gain control of my emotions and thoughts but I drew a blank. There was one verse in particular that I wanted to call to mind but all I could do is pray, “Ok Lord, I need your words and I think it has something about thinking good things. Can You help me out?”
Nothing.It was as if someone was taking an eraser to my brain.

My chalkboard-brain was blank.

Until something my husband (the Hubs) said to me during breakfast which made me realize the way I was thinking about things was simply, stinkin’ thinkin’. Which, if you’ve never heard the phrase means, thinking about everything in a negative light. The old half empty versus half full.
He was right, absolutely right. My stinkin’ thinkin’, born out of bad habits set forth in childhood and carried through into my adulthood were casting an ugly cloud of negativity on my entire day.

The Hubs suggested I flip the way I saw things and remember this particular situation that I was fretting over was indeed an answer to prayer.
Again he was right.

Less than a week prior I had been praying over this particular family situation and now, today, what was happening was the answer I’d been praying for.
So why did I take it negatively? Training in part I guess. But the more I asked myself why I had such stinkin’ thinkin’ it soon dawned on me that it was because the resolution hadn’t included me at all. Only God and those that I’d prayed over.

Blam! The realization hit me square between the eyes.
Had I really been praying for my benefit under the mask of praying for my loved ones? 

To some degree, yes.

I wanted to be included. I wanted a part of it.  I, I, I…notice the pattern? Yeah, me too. Not good.
Thankfully God saw it all, knew my struggle and stepped in and through the love of my husband was able to open my eyes to the real reason I was out of sorts.

I was ashamed. Instead of being thankful for a prayer being answered I was upset because God hadn’t included me in the resolution. Not a pretty truth.
Ya know folks, it’s hard to learn the tough stuff about ourselves. And yet, it’s in those moments when God clears the air and opens our hearts do we have the greatest opportunity to thank Him for the lessons He's trying to teach us while learning about His grace and love for us.

Once I stepped back, saw my error and took another look, I was able to really enjoy the blessing of an answered prayer. To know that God heard my prayers, answered them in a way which brought Him glory and would hopefully one day draw us all closer to Him, yeah, that’s what it’s all about.
I'm grateful for hard lessons and memory lapses, they teach me to rely on the good Lord every step of the way. And I’m thankful for the Hubs who isn’t afraid to be honest. It’s what I need.

As for the scripture I was trying to remember, God gave it to me in the most ironic way.
So this evening as I sat down to write, I flipped open to a dog-eared page in Liz Curtis Higgs’ book, It’s Good To Be Queen, hoping for a bit of inspiration. And right there on page 90 were the words I’d been racking my brain to remember:

“Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV
Oh how good God is! He is in the tiniest of details of our lives, leading us every step of the way back to Himself.

God loves you.

Until next time,
Blessings & best wishes,
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